Forever in cool genes

I feel bad for women. It must be absolutely exhausting for them to sustain this ever present facade of not possessing the same dork genes that men have. Whereas a man will typically just blurt out every thought like soda side effects, women will carefully sift each and every idea through a series of perception filters forming a canvas by which she paints herself for the world to see. Even if she does decide to consciously allow something out of character to leak through past her portal of judgment, it will still sound 80% less dorky than if said by a man based only on womankind's established reputation of prudence. It is ultimately the man's role to say and do geeky thing things while it is the woman's tireless duty to roll her eyes and look away not giving in to that witty comeback she has sitting right on the tip of her tongue lest she give dignity to possibly the dumbest thing she will hear all day. I just want to say, ladies, I feel your pain.
And for those too cool-for-skool frat guys who claim to speak nothing but pure rico suave; news flash, to be a spectator of a professional sport is kind of a nerdy thing, too. Don't get me wrong, I love sports and wholeheartedly encourage participation and teamwork as a means to establish positive foundational roles for children to strive for, but the concept of sports spectatorship is the Saturday morning cartoon equivalent of the runt dog on Bugs Bunny who hops around his bulldog friend trying to convince him to pick fights with cats. You, too, are not immune to dorkdom.

Go Celtics.