Terrific Two's

The terrible two's are not a myth and they are coming your way.
"Not my little princess." you say.
Yes, your little princess too will become as feisty as demon spawn and will emit screams to the point of laryngitis replacing what were once soft delicate baby cries. What used to be a pleasant evening out to dinner will become a race against time, points taken from any family member who attempts to talk after food is set on the table thus extending the high chair time which is known to be in strictly limited supply. Parents become psychic and can see events in the future they know would result in a meltdown and steer the young ones attention accordingly. Take heed, something wicked this way comes.

Amelia, much like Elijah before her, has arrived at the terrible two's prematurely, much to mom and dad's dismay. Zach, likewise, seems to be acquiring some of the finer points of selective emotional breakdown possibly by proxy to our ex-princess but mostly likely because he is experiencing the same types of growing pains as she. So tell us, Mr. Steve, what are Amelia and Zach trying to tell us with these drop-of-a-hat tantrums they seem to be prone with these days?

Basically, they have both come to realize a world exists beyond the realm of baby play-land that requires the extensive use of effective communication to negotiate its intricacies...oh, and also a "grown ups club" membership card which parents give to the store clerk when they want to take something home.

Zach and Amelia are merely trying to explain that they want to live in that world, too, but are somewhat frustrated with the complexity of getting up to speed within it.

"Seriously? That's it?"

Yes, that's it.

Now, of course you didn't think that I was just pointing out that your children will become evil life sucking creatures and there's nothing you can do about it. Right? I am a professional after all and wouldn't be writing this blog if I didn't think I had anything constructive to say.

Let me use a real life example to explain my methodology: Say, for instance, you are sitting at the table of your favorite steak house and your little bundle of joy decides that he absolutely will not be happy unless you let him hold the steak knife which your kind but dim witted waiter set down right in front of him. You notice that since you took the knife away he has been inhaling for the last minute and a half preparing to expel the loudest wail your ears have ever been six inches away from.

The first step is to get a change of scenery. Oh good, I see you are already sprinting away from the table with your hand cupped over the tykes mouth. The change of scenery will help him change gears with a fresh new set of stimuli to take in and distract him.

Next, get yourself to a nice quiet place where there won't be a lot of strangers standing around who are tempted to try helpful things like making awkward scary faces at them.

Lastly comes the most important step in derailing the the downward spiral of banshee screams: direct face to face conversation. The terrible two's should be seen as the perfect opportunity to start talking to your child like an adult in calm and complete sentences. Tell them what you perceive them to be feeling and you can even tell them how you are feeling. Even though they may not understand the exact meaning of the words you are saying to them, they will most certainly get the tone and realize that you are attempting to give them the keys to the grown up world. Eventually they will match the tone you set for them and realize the benefit of using words. Just remember to keep your tone in a manner consistent with what you would like to get in return and don't let frustration take over. If frustration does take over, well, it's time for mommy or daddy to take a time out. Go sit facing the corner and let your little one laugh at you for a while, as goofiness can be a good ice breaker, too.