The moral of the story is...

I am a positive person. Partly because of my loving upbringing and the paths I've chosen for myself, but mostly I believe it is because whenever I meet someone with a positive mental attitude I seem to be inextricably drawn to them. Those people have always made me want to become a better person just by their sheer example and energy. In striving to be the best I can be, the best secret I've found to maintaining your PMA is finding a way to change the things you're not OK with and being OK with the things you can't change. It's really that simple. Now, considering my positivity, I'm now finding it difficult to make this confession; I've been a little stressed out lately.

Before I explain my conundrum let me just point out that the stress has had nothing to do with contractors jack hammering my basement slab for two weeks to install a flow valve and subsequent re-jackhammering because the first two jobs weren't done right. Nor does it have anything to do with my washing machine breaking last night when my laundry was already hitting critical mass because of the jackhammering and rejack...well you get it. Nor does it have anything to do with the GI bug that is stinging the stomachs me and all of those that I love this week. Nor does it have anything to do with my writers block...a-ha, things are looking up already. 

No, the reason I am stressed is because of the toddler/dog dichotomy developing in our once peaceful home. Here's how it works. I get Niko into a calm submissive state and he is happily laying on the living room floor with his beloved Bully bone. Elijah is carefully extracting a 24 ounce bottle of blue Gatorade from Amelia's hands which is full and just recently opened. The screaming ensues. Niko runs to little Meelee and licks her face as if her tears were composed of beef jerky. The licking causes her to scream ever so more intensely and the dog's tail wags even faster, ad infinitum. Dad pulls out a large wad of his hair, chuckles, and crumples to the floor shaking. 

So as with most crises situations, I did what any normal human should do and calmly went to the library. After reading up on toddler psychology it became apparent to me what I was doing wrong. Since I am a sharing individual, I will share with you my findings and solution.   

The first point you must understand is her screaming is not because she wants something but rather because she wants you to know that she wants it. "What difference does that make?" you might ask- if you were a total jerk. Well, smarty pants, it actually makes all the difference when dealing with meltdown situations. Once you realize she is crying not because of a toy she wants or a place she wants to go, but rather because she wants you to pay heed to her desire and hopefully deliver on it, you will be better equipped to respond appropriately. A lot of parents will surely retort with the conventional wisdom of toddler cries being an indicator of insufficient TLC (which could be the case or could very well be the opposite) while, in actually, giving her the TLC she craves in response to cries will only exacerbate the problem you are trying to address. You need to wait and give her the love and attention she wants only after she has rationalized the fact that screaming and crying will not get her her way. Only then will you get her to start vocalizing in a civilized manner about what she wants from you and then you can go ahead and heap all the toys and ponies you want to on her as she is now completely problem free and will remain that way until she is twenty-five. Nope, not really... just making sure you are still paying attention. 

My solution, when she wants your attention in regard to something but can only vocalize it in ear splitting monkey screams; smile while calmly telling her that you will talk to her whenever she's ready and go to another part of the room focussing your attention elsewhere. If it's too hard to listen to her, feel free to walk in the other room. Do not be tempted to reason with her to get her calmed down, it may work to appease her this time, but you are doing nothing to address the real problem of the child's ill communication skillz. When she has finally stopped crying after five hours or so, you can sit down and talk about what she wants even though you already know exactly what it is, which is toys and ponies.  

As for the dog, I'll get back to you about how to become your dogs pack leader once I am promoted from disrespected pack shift supervisor who is the only member of the pack not privy to his impending sixty day notice. This may take a while folks. 

Happy Birthday Grammie!!!