Spring break two thousand eight!!! Whoooo!

This week is spring break for the area schools, so I get to spend some quality time with Elijah. Forgive me if I can't get around to posting a whole lot this week, as I reckon I'll be pretty busy. Although it doesn't feel much like spring just yet, we are going to take a walk down to the park once nap time is over. Hats and gloves all around, of course.

Amelia has become quite the nurturer in the last couple of weeks and taken up studying the things I do in tending to Zach's needs. One of my more important functions, in Amelia's eyes, is wiping Zach's mouth when he spits up. To practice her care giving skills she dabs at Zach's face with a burp cloth a couple times every minute whether he needs it or not. Zach, being of a slightly more practical nature, feels this may be a bit excessive and has advised her on numerous occasions to conserve wiping for only those times in which it is necessary. She, of course, replies that it is no trouble at all and that she doesn't mind doing it. The force of motherhood is strong with this one.

Drive

As you can probably tell, I've been somewhat 7734 bent on getting Zachary's crawling gears switched from reverse to drive. In my experience, a baby's entire attitude changes and a great deal of confidence is gained once they can start seeing the direction they're moving. Zach appears ready for such a revelation. This morning I came up with the brilliant plan of setting up Zach on his fours with feet to the couch. "Surely if this gentleman Zach is to be so inclined to move any one direction, forward shall he be bound", I thought to myself...verbatim. Not two minutes later he began protesting loudly about how I was infringing on his rights as a baby and am vastly outnumbered according to his most recent census. There was no way to reason with him on the issue and it was all a little bit scary, so I moved him to back where he wanted to go.

You've won this round. Next time, Mr. Zachary. Next time.

Why Blog?

I spent the last eight years in a cubicle where to be sitting in front of a computer writing something is to be fulfilling ones destiny. Whether it be loss descriptions, underwriting guidelines, or insurance applications you aren't earning money unless your fingers are tapping. Now that I'm home all day, why should it be any different? Old habits die hard and kicking, so long as you keep reading, I'll keep writing.

One thing that was lost without any uncertainty in my metamorphosis from insurance mule to baby professional was my propensity for the daily facial depiliation. Being in direct genetic lineage of Barbarossa affords me in the span of a month whiskers thick enough to ward attacks from saber tooth tigers. Oh yes, Mr Steve's ancestors thrived in the ice age. My latest experiment was to see how long I could go without shaving at all. After holding out for more than a month and looking somewhere in between Jerry Garcia and Grizzly Adams this trend was brought to an abrupt end with but a mere question from my wife, "When are you going to shave that thing?"

Yesterday morning after the kids went down for nap, I got out the wool sheers and peeled away the layers of winter accumulation. When Zachary and Amelia awoke, both of them were simply stunned and confused about who it was exactly that has come to pick them up out of their sleeping quarters. Zach eventually warmed up to me but it appears that Amelia is still a little apprehensive and wants to make sure that I am not just some guy who does a really good impression of her dad but looks nothing like him.

Before:




After:

Amelia can now officially be considered one of the walking as it has become her choice mode of transportation. According to Elijah, she is now up to 33 consecutive steps and is able to traverse corners with minimal whiplash.
"Hi" continues to be her favorite word often repeating it twenty times to every new person, animal, and toy she comes in contact with.

Zachary is especially close to making some forward progress with his crawling. Just today, he realized that he is able to lunge forward from his hands to get closer to all the cool stuff in front of him. When I tuck his legs for him, his arms do move forward but he has yet to complete the crawling motion on his own. It seems as though he has the full concept and the strength but hasn't realized the full benefit to crawling forward instead of backward.

Didge

The didgeridoo of Australia is arguably the oldest known musical instrument. The strongest evidence of this theory is based on its naturally occurring formation caused by termites eating the fleshy centers of the outback's plentiful eucalypti. When the termites have finished feasting they leave large hollow tubes waiting to be harvested by Australia's Aboriginal people. The tube is then cut at both ends forming one of the most ominous sounding wind instruments of the music world. It is believed by some to have spiritual meditative qualities, others assert the didge can heal certain ailments, while still others hold the opinion that it is a most entertaining way for babies named Zach and Amelia to spend the morning.

Éirinn go Brágh

Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.


The Mr. Steve home is already abuzz with preparations for today's St. Paddy festivities. The corned beef is in the crock pot, the baked potatoes are wrapped in foil on the middle rack of the oven, the cabbage is...well, I forgot to buy cabbage..., OK, then the Irish asparagus will to have to suffice. Most importantly, though, I have baited the leprechaun trap with a couple 'Pot o' Gold lottery tickets, a sure way to attract them, so that I may cook my pièce de résistance, leprechaun pie. I hear they taste just like twinkies...or maybe I'm thinking of Smurfs?

I'm kidding, of course. Never would I hurt a leprechaun. Not even a really nasty one named Muffie that wouldn't stop biting at me shins...or maybe that was a chihuahua?

Mudflaps

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Record 20 inch snowfall.

Record 20 inch snowfall who?

Record 20 inch snowfall who is in the process of melting into millions of gallons of water with absolutely no where to go cascading over the already completely saturated earth.

Not funny? Well, it's even less so for those whose basements are filling with water. Sump pump sales are skyrocketing. Dehumidifiers are working overtime. People are changing their socks with much greater frequency.

Though it did all make for an interesting jog down to the river yesterday. After braving raging runoff streams and puddles the size of poodle egos, Zach, Amelia, and I finally made it down to the river to witness the spectacle of 2008's great melt. One thing I learned from the experience is that my jogging stroller badly needs some mud flaps. I was thinking of getting some of the 18 wheeler variety with a picture of Yosemite Sam saying, "Varmints on board" or perhaps a chrome silhouette of a pacifier. Either will work. Let me know if you find them.